User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Rap Battles of Fiction Season 4 Episode 10 - Gladiator vs Gaston
What up, fellas? Also fellettes if any girls are actually reading this (unlikely). What’s up with me is that I am releasing this sick new battle. You already know that, though, because, like, you’re already on the blog that has the battle on it. Maybe you clicked the link without looking, though, and this is going to be a nice surprise! Rapping here are two of the manliest men in the world of fiction, with bulging biceps, terrific triceps and carved calves. That’s right! It’s Gaston, the loveably arrogant antagonist of both Beauty and the Beast and Beauty and the Beast Hermione version. He is facing off against Maximus Decimus Meridius, the protagonist of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator film, in a battle of obsessed manly males. Will Gaston prove to have Beauty flows, or beastly beats? Let’s find out! Thanks for this battle go to Grav and Alexa , who helped to proofread the battle at different stages, and special thanks to Alexa for helping to contribute to the end product. Casting Luke Evans as Gaston EpicLLOYD as Maximus Decimus Meridius Josh Gad as LeFou (cameo) Nice Peter , Ryan Moulton and Andrew Sherman as Tom, Dick and Stanley The Battle Maximus is portrayed in purple, with Gaston in red, and cameos for LeFou in yellow, and the villagers of Villeneuve are portrayed like this. Maximus Decimus I’m the Wolf of Rome, fighting for what my emperor says is best, And I could beat straight through your chest in this life or the next! I am the maximum of manliess! I should know, my name is Maximus! Ridley changed it from the OG because I'm more used to slaying narcissists Gladiator! See you later when we actually fight our fight without song! You compensate with massive muscles for the size of your schlong! Our lives are fleeting, but what we do will ring out across eternity! You wasted your whole existence on running a town of nobodies! Gaston No-one attacks like Gaston, matches raps like Gaston! Nobody leaves his enemies dead quite as fast as Gaston! You’re an intimidating figure so manly! A paragon, that is true! Could beat you even when randy! That is enough now, LeFou! I don’t need your assistance to bust out a move! For I am the best this town has to offer! With my bulging biceps and style to boot, this guy couldn’t protect his son as a father! Step in the arena and win over the crowd, a tactic that I mastered befoooooooore! Be offered survival and turn the chance down, for that your wife moaned as a whore! Maximus Decimus I am the virilest Meridius, whilst you’re just a vain, villainous idiot! Stalking beauties who don’t love you like a puppy with sense deficience! You’re the true beast for your story, I’m a colossus in the arena! I’m the Katniss in these Games, whilst you are a half-baked Peeta! I’m a trained killer! You are a hunter for cunt who leave you rejected! She wants adventures, not the kind of husband who leaves her neglected! I fight for my wife, you fight for a life of rapings and adultery! You’re shooting out of your league! Mrs Potts is more your cup of tea! You don’t have any culture! A fucking Beast has got you beat! So fade away into dust, and let your love revel in your defeat! Read my middle finger without pictures! Do you still think you can handle me? Watch me drop the beat, motherfucker, like you dropped from the balcony Gaston We aren’t safe until you’re dead! We aren’t safe within our beds! We aren’t safe until Gaston removes this roaming Roman’s head! You are a slave to the system, whilst I run the town where I reside! Expectorations are running high, get back in your armour and hide! You must be insane to match muscles with the manliest male! Lock you up like Maurice when I disprove the accuracy of your tale! Hire historians to dictate your story, only to then go and ignore ‘em, Be my guest, but you best know I entertain, whilst you bore ‘em! I am a veteran of many wars and battles that I have fought in, He’s just the puppet slave to an old fogey who bought him! Out of my way! I could end your family like Commodus’ troops did, Then finish you off after, and I won’t need you wounded! Maximus Decimus The shining light of culture, an omen of Rome’s nature: glorious! When you fuck girls you finish fast and then throw a fit: furious! Watch my phalanx flows completely crush you in rap: victorious! So let the eagle soar in this, as I fight for my emperor: Aurelius! Gaston Your fancy word flows mean fuck all, and frankly I’ve had it! A great hunter like Gaston doesn’t waste his time with rabbits! I earned the best! I deserve the best! Nobody should pass on! Gaston! Gaston? My what a guy, that Gastooooooooooon! Who won? Maximus Decimus Meridius Gaston Category:Blog posts